Part I: Embracing the Ancient Paths: A Wilderness Journey of Masculine Initiation
“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” — Jeremiah 6:16 (NIV)
Right now, I live in Park City, Utah–surrounded by mountains, quiet trails, and the steady rhythm of wilderness. It’s an intentional decision to enter a season of initiation.
This journey was sparked by Fathered by God by John Eldredge. His words lifted a veil over a truth I had long sensed but couldn’t name: that masculinity is bestowed. It is not automatic. Not a matter of age or achievement. It’s something passed down, or learned, or fought for–never just given.
And when that initiation doesn’t happen, something stays unfinished in a man.
I didn’t grow up with a roadmap for this. My dad is a hero. He gave everything to provide, lead, and love in a way his own father never could. He gave me so much more than he received. But like so many of our fathers, he had no blueprint. No mentor to guide him through the masculine journey. He learned by grit and grace, but not always by guidance.
I’m not here to blame him. I’m here because I want to build on his strength and give my future sons if I am luckily enough to have them one day something even stronger. I’m here because I want to break cycles, not repeat them.
And that means I need to be initiated.
Not by a retreat.
Not by a checklist.
Not by external success.
But by presence. By wilderness. By God.
Breaking the Transactional Masculinity Myth
For years, I operated under a false definition of manhood; one shaped by performance, provision, and control. I believed that if I made the money, carried the weight, and led decisively, that was enough.
I saw relationships as transactional: you serve me while I serve you.
But that mindset failed me. It left me tired, isolated, and distant from the intimacy I craved. It turned my relationships into transactions rather than covenants.
At one point, I found myself thinking: “If I do all this, don’t I deserve peace? Don’t I deserve comfort?”
That was the wound talking.
That was the boy inside the man, asking to be seen.
And God, in His mercy, answered.
He reminded me that manhood is not about what I take. It’s about what I give.
And it’s not about being proven …it’s about being present.
The moment that truth sank in, I felt something shift: My presence is the proof. I believe it so much that when my friend James (who I believe is a profit) told me it I had it tattooed on my arm. Not my income. Not my resume. Not the praise of others. Just the way I show up, with humility, integrity, and surrender.
The Fear and Freedom of Initiation
Let me be honest: this path is scary.
To be fully initiated, I have to let go of my defenses. I have to confront the parts of me that are still afraid to be vulnerable. I have to accept that I may be led into the wild…and to compound it I am sharing it publicly.
But I also know what’s on the other side of that fear: peace.
Not comfort.
Not certainty.
But peace. The kind that Jeremiah spoke about. Rest for the soul.
And I want that. Not just for me. For the people I lead. For the woman I will love. For the children I will raise. For the men I will mentor.
I don’t want this to be just my initiation. I want it to be a blueprint to offer others.
Because the world needs men who are rooted, not restless.
Present, not performative.
Fathered, not flailing.
My Dad, The Hero: And Why I’m Building on His Shoulders
I want to say this clearly: I’m proud of my dad. He is my hero.
He gave me a foundation few men ever receive. He listened. He showed up. He kept promises. He gave me safety and stability when he never had that himself.
He didn’t pass down trauma. Through our conversations over the years he ended it.
And now I get to go one step further.
I get to take that legacy and evolve it. To bless my father and blaze a new trail. To be the son who honors his roots (no pun intended) and still grows higher. To say: “You gave me this far. Now I’ll take us farther.”
And one day, I hope to do the same for my own sons.
How I’m Documenting the Journey
I’m documenting everything as I go:
- Recording my hikes on AllTrails
- Nature reels from these sacred trails in Utah with devotionals and voiceovers recorded in the wild on Instagram
- Writing like this, capturing what I’ve learned now that I’m further down the trail.
Each post, each video, each reflection is meant to leave a breadcrumb trail. For any man ready to walk this road but unsure where to begin.
You’re not alone.
You’re not too late.
And you’re not broken beyond repair.
An Invitation to the Ancient Path
If you’ve read this far, maybe you’ve felt it too. That aching sense that you’ve hit all the metrics of success and still feel unfinished.
You’re not weak for feeling that.
You’re not crazy for craving more.
Maybe you just need to be initiated.
To stand at the crossroads and look.
To ask for the ancient paths.
To walk in the good way–and find rest for your soul.
I’m walking it now.
You can join me anytime, and I hope you do.
